Confused

The day of my occupational health assessment arrived.  I spent most of the day walking on the beach with my dog and a friend in the unusually warm sunshine.  The coastline here is stunning and we walked on golden sands, climbed across rocks and around clear rock pools.  My dog lay in pools and rolled in the sand – it was glorious, and a perfect distraction from the impending encounter with occupational health.

I arrived for the appointment in good time and feeling unusually calm.  I went in and found the nurse doing the assessment to be lovely and easy to chat with.  It was easy to talk about my BPD and how that affects me in general terms.  We discovered she knew Joy from a few years ago.

At the end she advised me not to worry and told me she would need an additional report from joy to make sure that doing the job will not cause me harm.  She said I might get called back in to see one of the occupational health Drs.

At first I was relieved, but having had time to reflect I am now very uncertain of how things will go.  I still have the fear that having got this far I will not be allowed to take the job after all.